It Only Takes 5 Minutes to Give A Smile

Deviance is when we go against societies norms. Positive deviance is when you “break” a social norm in a positive way. When you do an act of positive deviance you are helping others. An act of Positive deviance doesn’t have to a huge thing. It is the simple things that you do that others wouldn’t. When you do these simple things you help bring a smile to someone’s face it can even help change a person’s day.  Diaz response to the mugger in the subway was just one example of positive social deviance.  When a person usually gets mugged they are so worried about their own possessions and safety they forget to think about “why would this person do this to me?” Diaz went against the norm and thought just that. Instead of trying to punish the crime he changed a person’s life.  He realized if this boy was so desperate to mug someone that he needed more than just money. And Diaz gave him that. He offered the boy his coat but ultimately gave him you could say love and respect that the boy probably isn’t use to receiving.  Diaz didn’t have to do this. He could have conformed to society and called the police on the boy but that wouldn’t solve the problem of this boy. By sitting down and talking with him and trying to teach the boy to be nice to everyone and to give up his weapon Diaz got to the roots of the problem. This story shows how taking the time to offer a simple object such as a coat can alter a young man’s life. 

The first act of positive deviance or (random act of kindness) I “committed” was with my friend. We both go downtown to tutor thru give.  We decided to bring the other tutors doughnuts for the bus ride down there.  We didn’t have to do this. No one told us to bring food let alone food for the everyone to have some.  It also can be considered an RAK because it got the reaction that a positive deviance usually does.  That is gratitude and happiness.  We didn’t change the world with our doughnuts but we were able to change the expressions on the tutor’s faces.  Everyone was excited and smiling and thanked us when we offered them the doughnuts. It was also great to see our teacher’s reaction and that she appreciated our RAK. Some you could see were in I guess you could say “shock” that we brought enough for the whole bus.  The “shock” factor also usually occurs to the people receiving the RAK. They aren’t expecting people to break the norms to benefit them.  It made me feel “warm and fuzzy” inside knowing that doing something that cost me not that much could help make someone happy for that moment.  Seeing the tutor’s reactions just made me want to continue to do small and big RAK more frequently.  The second random act of kindness I did didn’t cost money only time but it was “time well spent”.  I decided to give my uncle who lives in Texas a call.  I haven’t talked to him in over a year. We don’t “see eye to eye” and have a very distant relationship. I didn’t have to call him. I could have continued this strain relationship like many do in their lives. I didn’t expect him to answer his phone but when he did I was very glad.  He seemed shocked that I called and asked why I called. I told him I just wanted to say hi and see how he was doing. He told me it was great to hear my voice and he really appreciated me calling.  He even said he was thinking of visiting my family soon.  Before we ended the call he told me that me calling him made his day and that he was so glad I called.  You never know how 5 mins. Can affect someone’s life.  If we take 5 mins. Out of our day each day to do something out of the ordinary for someone you’ll be amazed by the recipients responses. But you will also be in shock how amazing it can make you feel. You feel that you did something right even though it defies society.  As cheesy as it sounds it makes you feel warm inside and happy and excited.  It makes you feel that even though you are one person you can make a difference in a life.  

I feel that in our society today many things I see as norms can be seen by other’s as acts of positive deviance. Like holding the door open for someone or thanking someone for holding the door open for me or telling the sedexo workers thank you for cleaning my lunch table.  We are all taught when we are younger to say please and thank you and use good manners. But how come today we don’t see that  once “common courtesy”  as much? Students half the time don’t thank the lunch room staff or even their teacher’s for their hard work. Some have even regressed father to pushing to get in front of someone while walking through a door.  Maybe we need a manners 101 class at SHS? Or just maybe by taking 5 mins. to do a positive deviance act for someone that someone will do the same.

There are Only Two Kinds of People in This World.

Social deviance is any action, idea, thought that breaks or violates social norms. Social deviance are not inherited by genetics but rather created socially. They are socially constructed based on people, places, and ideas.  In the reading The Saints and the Roughnecks by William J. Chambliss we see negative social deviance at its finest.  The community classifies many of the teen boys in either the saints or the rough necks.  Both groups broke the laws. They drank and said demeaning things against women. They also tired/did skip classes.  However how people reacted to them was very different.  They based their judgments on the teen’s economic standing.  The saints were middle class had nice cars,  clothes. Yet the rough necks were lower class , didn’t dress “proper” or have “good manners”.  The society put them into groups of good vs. bad. They were then treated based on this perception. Just like we treat spit with a negative connotation and think it is gross. That is what the community did to the rough necks they saw no hope and that all rough necks were bad. Unlike saliva which people will see as scientific and not stray from it. The community did not stray away from the saints. They tried to “help” them and gave the benefit of the doubt like you would give to the word saliva but never  did they give the benefit to the rough necks just like today we never would think twice about spit it is always seen as “bad or disgusting”.   Yet we can look at these two groups in a whole different way. In the movie “my name is khan” Khan’s mother tell him“  "There are only two kinds of people in this world. Good people who do good deeds. And bad people who do bad. That's the only difference in human beings. There's no other difference." Here we could look at the groups as just humans. No rough necks or saints. Just teenage boys. And since they were not doing “good deeds” they can be seen as “bad”. But never according to khan’s wise words would people be seen as rich or poor, middle class, good looking, black, white. This way of thinking gets rid of any negative social deviance.  It makes us clear our minds of any preconceived thoughts on people based on Social deviances. When you look at life this way you don’t  create stereotypes. You think just because a person is “......” they will act or speak or think like “.......”.  You base people by their actions not by family backgrounds, religions, or race. If only the whole world could think like this. We would have more love and less hate.

"Where Is The Love?"

As a teen we might go through some challenges but nothing compared to an “adult” yet thanks to the media being a “successful/ perfect” teen has become ten times harder.  The media portrays a teens as self absorbed, materialist, perfect body humans.  Yet most of us are not. The media has done this in order to sell products or ideas. The not fully developed mind of a teen unfortunately falls in to the trap and tries to be what the media displays for them.   The media displays girls as being white and skinny.  They have perfect skin and flawless features.  They don’t dare show a girl who is darker skin unless she is wearing animal print because she is seen as “exotic”.  If this wasn’t bad enough teen girls are shown absorbed in material objects such as clothes, make up or shoes.  The worst way the media shows teen girls is as “the damsel in distress”. That we always need a guy to make everything better and to get through our day. We are seen as “a guy’s object” never as independent.  Even in songs a girls is refer to as “mine “ my baby”  or “bitch”. All these phrases are demeaning  yet have become main stream terms for teen girls.  This is upsetting. A teen girl should never have to feel like she is worthless because of something she hears or sees in the media.  This makes it very challenging to go against this message.  The media however fails to show girls as being helpful and powerful indviuals.  Many of my friends are involved in board positions in clubs or heads of volunteer clubs.  I think it’s hard for me and other teen girls to get involve and help lead activities or organizations because the media tells us “that we can’t do it right” or that the boys don’t want an independent women. I still struggle to participate in classes sometimes because of that fear of “what will they think of me” this fear you can say stems from the media’s message of teen girls.  So overall thanks to the media  many teens girls have eating disorders, become obsessed with their clothes and looks or worst of all have no self confidence. It has taught girls to not love themselves for who they are.

Even though the media can be extremely bad for the gender role of a teen girl I think that the “mother instinct” and “the care giver” stereotype can be ok for teen girls. It shows that a girls shouldn’t always think about herself but about those around her. They show most girls being teachers which is stereotypical but when you think about it the media is trusting “our future” (the children) in the hands of women or teen girls.  Even when it comes to babysitting tv shows show girls as the babysitters. This displays that girls are good caregivers and loving. 

The media has done a terrible job in teaching teens and individuals about love. How it is acceptable to show love?  Who it is acceptable to love? The media only shows heterosexual images of love.  They always show a boy and girl holding hands or kissing. Even in advertisements for products not related to relationships they will never show two girls or two boys showing signs of affection to each other. Only a boy and a girl can show the signs of affection to each other and be perceived as normal. Some ads even show a heterosexual couple in sexual poses or nudity scenes. Look at Hollister or Abrocrombi they are full of them.  Parents let their kids shop at these stores and see ads or movies with these ideas in them.  However they would never dare show their kids a homosexual couple in these same scenes in movies or even kissing.  It has come to that being homosexual you can’t show affection or love in public without being teased looked at weirdly or ridiculed. Even here at Stevenson if you see a boy and girl holding hands you don’t even take a second look.  However when I was walking down the hall and the girl in front of me saw two girls holding hands she gasped and said (in a negative tone) “look at them!”  Why do we seem to “hate” and “judge” these individuals who have done nothing wrong. They are not trying to hate one another but only to love each other yet we judge them for doing that. And we have the media to blame.  They give us the idea that being a homosexual is unusual and not appropriate and unfortunately teens carry these ideas into the schools they go to. Another image about love that the media gives to teens specifically is that it is ok to “hook up” with someone and not be emotionally attached.  They show countless tv shows such as jersey shore or the real life where the main purpose of the relationship is not to get to know someone but to have sex with them.  Even the word love has been altered by the media.  It is now referred to as a form of sex instead of an emotion. This is seen in many  pop songs such as “ I like it” “Your love is  my drug” and “ bad romance”.  As individuals in a soc  class after learning all this we have to remember that it isn’t just enough to learn it. We need to apply it. I mean we have to make sure we don’t stereotype and don’t make odd faces when we see someone who has a different sexual orientation then our selves.  We need to teach others and the future generations to accept the differences.  And to ignore the media’s message about how to love and who to love.